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Saturday, September 3, 2011

Sardar Joke


------------
> >>>   A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After
> >>>eating he goes
> >>>   to wash his hands but starts washing the basin
> >>>instead.  The manager
> >>>   comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar
> >>>rahe ho?"
> >>>   To this the man replies,
> >>>   "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai,"Wash
> >>>Basin".
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to
> >>>Toronto, the
> >>>   captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our
> >>>engines has
> >>>   failed..  There  is  nothing to worry about.
> >>>   Our flight will take an hour longer than
> >>>   scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
> >>>Thirty minutes
> >>>   later  the  captain announced, "One more engine has
> >>>failed and the
> >>>   flight will take an additional two hours. But don't
> >>>worry.
> >>>   we can fly just fine on two  engines."  An hour
> >>>later the captain
> >>>   announced, "One more engine has  failed and our
> >>>arrival will be delayed
> >>>   another three hours.  But don't worry ..
> >>>   we still have one engine left."  A sardarji
> >>>passenger turned to the
> >>>   man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one
> >>>more engine, we'll
> >>>   be up  here  all day!"
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Three men were applying for the same job as a
> >>>detective.  One was a
> >>>   Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian.  The
> >>>chief decided
> >>>   to ask each applicant just one question and base his
> >>>decision upon that
> >>>   answer.
> >>>
> >>>   When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the
> >>>chief asked him,
> >>>   "Who  killed Jesus Christ?"  The Jewish man answered
> >>>without hesitation
> >>>   "The  Romans killed him."  The chief thanked him and
> >>>he left.  When the
> >>>   Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief
> >>>asked the same question.
> >>>   He  replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews."  Again,
> >>>the chief thanked
> >>>   the man who then left.
> >>>   Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview,  he
> >>>   was asked the same question.  He thought for a long
> >>>time, before
> >>>   saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?"
> >>>   The chief said, "OK, but get back to me
> >>>   tomorrow."
> >>>   When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How
> >>>was
> >>>   the  interview ?".  Pat came the reply,
> >>>   "Great, I got the job, and I'm  already
> >>>investigating a murder.
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Talking about those days when there were no mosquito
> >>>repellents and
> >>>   we had to spend sleepless nights.  Sardarji  was
> >>>also experiencing the
> >>>   same  every time he tries to sleep,one mosquito
> >>>comes and disturbs his
> >>>   sleep with a  sound "guooonn, guooonn."  He getsvery
> >>>irritated. He tries
> >>>   to cover his  ear but the problem remains
> >>>persistent. Ultimately he gets
> >>>   up and  catches the mosquito in his hand.He is very
> >>>kind and not for the
> >>>   blood shed but  still wanted to take revenge.  Happy
> >>>as he is now starts
> >>>   singing a  lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so
> >>>ja".  After some time
> >>>   he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in
> >>>his hands.  So he goes
> >>>   near it  and  says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Elizabeth Taylor once boarded a plane.  Everybody
> >>>around greeted
> >>>   her.  Since the plane was crowded she had difficulty
> >>>in finding a seat.
> >>>   She  saw  our Sardar Balwinder Singh who was sitting
> >>>next to a vacant
> >>>   seat.She  went  up to him and introduced herself
> >>>saying in her cool sexy voice,
> >>>   "Hi, I am  Elizabeth Taylor...  Liz to you."
> >>>Balwinder was bewildered but
> >>>   immediately  responded, "Hi I am Balwinder ..  Balls
> >>>to you."

>
> >>>   Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic.  One of
> >>>them was
> >>>   crying like  anything.  So the other asked,"Why are
> >>>you crying?"  The
> >>>   first one replied, "I came here for blood test"
> >>>Second one asked,"So?
> >>>   Are you afraid?"  First  one  replied,"No, not that.
> >>>  During the blood test
> >>>   they cut my finger"  Hearing this the second one
> >>>started crying.The first one
> >>>   was astonished and  asked  other, "Why are you
> >>>crying?"  The other
> >>>   replied,"I have come for my  urine  test."
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Our sardarji was filling up an application form for
> >>>a job .  He
> >>>   promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE,
> >>>ADDRESS etc.  Then the
> >>>   column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled
> >>>there. Aftermuch
> >>>   thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK.  On seeing this in
> >>>his appln.  form,he
> >>>   was told that it was  wrong and what they wanted it
> >>>to be
> >>>   filled was either MALE or FEMALE.  Again our sardar
> >>>thought for a
> >>>   long time  before coming up with the answer
> >>>PREFERABLY FEMALES.
> >>>_______________________________________________________
> >>>
> >>>   A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop.
> >>>Finally the bus
> >>>   arrives and he gets in.  The bus is fully loaded
> >>>with sardarjis.
> >>>   One sardarji orders Bihari to tell a joke.  Now, the
> >>>Bihari thinks
> >>>   he's in big  trouble because he knows only sardar
> >>>jokes!After thinking
> >>>   for some time he decides to substitute all
> >>>references to 'sardars' in
> >>>   his joke with 'Biharis'. He starts the jokes with,
> >>>"There was once
> >>>   a Bihari..."  And suddenly he gets a major blow on
> >>>his back from one of the
> >>>   sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be!  Sab  sardar mar
> >>>gaye hai kya?"
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at
> >>>an MNC office in
> >>>   Amritsar.  Reddy from Chennai applied for the same
> >>>job and both
> >>>   applicants having the same qualifications were asked
> >>>to take a test
> >>>   by the  Department  manager.Upon completion of the
> >>>test, the results
> >>>   showed that both men  only missed one of the
> >>>questions.  The manager
> >>>   went to Santa and said, "Thank  you for your
> >>>interest, but we've decided
> >>>   to give the job to  Reddy".
> >>>   Santa: "And why would you be doing that?  We both
> >>>got 9 questions correct.
> >>>   This  being Punjab I should get the job!"  Manager:
> >>>"We have made our
> >>>   decision not on the correct answers, but on the one
> >>>question that you got
> >>>   wrong."
> >>>   Santa:  "And just how would one incorrect answer be
> >>>better than the
> >>>   other?"
> >>>   Manager:  "Simple, for the question that both of you
> >>>got wrong,
> >>>   Reddy  put  down 'I don't know' as the answer.
> >>>   And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer,
> >>>who just laid a
> >>>   road near his house. "Wow!  This is terrific!  Look
> >>>at the job he has
> >>>   done!  The distance from my house to the railway
> >>>station is
> >>>   the same as the railway station to my house!!!!!!!!"
>-----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   A sardarji once took an answering machine home in
> >>>Punjab and
> >>>   disconnected it within a couple of days because he
> >>>was getting
> >>>   complaints from his  relatives like
> >>>   "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ki ghar pe nahin hai"
>----------------------------------------------------

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