COMPUTER TERMS

                            COMPUTER TERMS

BIT:            A word used to describe computers, as in "Our son's
               computer cost quite a bit."

BOOT:           What your friends give you because you spend too much time
               bragging about your computer skills.

BUG:            What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green
               computer screen for more than 15 minutes.
               Also: what computer magazine companies do to you after
               they get your name on their mailing list.

CHIPS:          The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to
               avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals.

COPY:           What you have to do during school tests because you spend
               too much time at the computer and not enough studying.

CURSOR:         What you turn into when you can't get your computer to
               perform, as in "You $#% computer!"

DISK:           What goes out in your back after bending over a computer
               keyboard for seven hours.

DUMP:           The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you
               get a new computer.

ERROR:          What you made the first time you walked into a computer
               showroom to "just look."

EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on to your home to house
               your computer and all its peripherals.

FILE:           What your secretary can now do to her nails six and a half
               hours a day, now that the computer does her day's work in
               30 minutes.

FLOPPY:         The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due
               to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food
 
HARDWARE:       Tools, such as lawn mowers, rakes and other heavy
               equipment you haven't laid a finger on since getting
               your computer.

IBM:            The kind of missile your family members and friends would
               like to drop on your computer so you'll pay attention to
               them again.

MENU:           What you'll never see again after buying a computer
               because you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.

MONITOR:        Often thought to be a word associated with computers,
               this word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who
               always want to see your hall pass at school.

PROGRAMS:       Those things you used to look at on your television before
               you hooked your computer up to it.
RETURN:         What lots of people do with their computers after only
               a week and a half.

TERMINAL:       A place where you can find buses, trains and really good
               deals on hot computers.

WINDOW:         What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally
               erase a program that took you three days to set up.