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Showing posts with label Sardar Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sardar Story. Show all posts

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Sardar Stories


Sardar Dhakkan Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a
big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the
zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering
freely. Zoo people requested sardar to go inside and trap the tiger in a
cage. Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying
a big gun. While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he
> noticed that the tiger is  chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep
fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep. At that
time the road separated into ! two paths ahead, one to the left and other
to the right. Then cleverly Dhakaan put the left indicator on and turned
the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path. With a
sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the
same situation arises again. once more the road divides into two and this
time our sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to
left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side. After some time
the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to
chase him again. This time the road never divides and our sardar thought
the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows
down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held his
hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to
overtake. The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > > NOW TELL ME WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY??
> >> > > ANSWER BELOW............
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > > MORAL: There are Sardar Communities in Tigers too.

Sardar Joke


Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead, boards another bus in
extreme hurry and upon seeing it is a 23C cut (\) service, promptly gets
down thinking that the bus route is cancelled.

Takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport left", he
turned around and went home.
Got locked in Furniture Shop and slept on the floor.
At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he put
Sagittarius.
Takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Studies for a blood test and fails.
Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said
"concentrate".
Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind.
Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
Was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"
Tries to drown a fish.
If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get change.
Thinks socialism means partying over a cordless phone.
Invents a solar powered flashlight.
Sells the car for gas money.
Hears 90% of all crimes occur around the home, so he moves.

Sardar Joke


Subject: Fw: A typical Sardar

A sardar applied to a medical school needless to say he never made
it.
you know why???? These are the answers he gave in the entrance test:

 Antibody -  against everyone
 Artery -  the study of fine paintings
 Bacteria -  back door to a cafeteria
 Benign       -  what you be after you be eight
 Bowel -  letters like a,e,i,o,u
 Caesarian Section - a district in Rome
 Cardiology -  advanced study of Poker playing
 Cat Scan -  searching for lost kitty
 Chronic -  neck of a crow
 Coma -  punctuation mark
 Cortisone -  area around local court
 Cyst -  short for sister
 Diagnosis -  person with slanted nose
 Dilate -  the late British Princess Diana
 Dislocation - in this place
 Duodenum -  couple in blue jeans
 Enema -  not a friend
 False Labor - pretending to work
 Genes -  blue denim
 Hernia -  she is close by
 Hymen -  greeting to several males
 Labor Pain -  hurt at work
 Lactose -  people without feet
 Lymph -  walk unsteadily
 Menopause -  I no wait
 Microbes -  small dressing gowns
 Obesity -  City of Obe
 Pacemaker -  winner of Nobel Peace Prize
 Protein -  in favor of teens
 Pulse -  grain
 Pus -  small cat
 Red Blood Count - Dracula
 Rupture -  Ecstasy
 Secretion -  hiding anything
 Subcutaneous - not cute enough
 Suture -  Gujrati for "what do you want"
 Tablet -  small table
 Tumor -  extra pair
 Ultrasound -  radical noise
 Urine -  opposite of you're out
 Varicose -  very close
 Vitreous Humor - both witty & funny.
Accumulate - Lie down in Vaccum
Breast - Bite it like a Feast
Carnivorous - Various People Dancing in Carnival
Fever - Forever
FAT - Fuck  And  Throw
Minerals - Many Rails on one Track
Pallette - Plate
Penis - Please insert Slowly
Penicillin - sharped pointed Pencil
RBC - Rush Before it gets Close
Water - Waiter
WBC - Wash Before interCourse
Vagina - Very aged boy friend of princess Dina
Vaccine - Wax flowing in
Virus - Place where there is a Lot of Rush

Sardar Stories


Sardar’s  Stories :


Santa Singh In Tamilnadu Express...
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > > > After making a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his
> >> > > > > > > wife and his son were returning to punjab in
> >> > > > > > > Tamilnadu Express.
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > > > SantaSingh was occupying the lower berth, his wife
> >> > > > > > > the middle berth and his son the top most berth in
> >> > > > > > > the train.
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > > > When the train stopped at one of the stations on the
> >> > > > > > > way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a
> >> > > > > > > cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed .
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > > > When Santa and his son returned they found that a
> >> > > > > > > South Indian who couldn't understand hindi had
> >> > > > > > > occupied his son's berth .
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > > > Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to
> >> > > > > > > help.
> >> > > > > > > TT requested that he could not understand
> >> > > > > > > Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh
> >> > > > > > > explained the whole situation to him in English .
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > > > Santa Singh explained , " That man sleeping on top
  • >> > > > > > > of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

Sardar Joke


------------
> >>>   A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After
> >>>eating he goes
> >>>   to wash his hands but starts washing the basin
> >>>instead.  The manager
> >>>   comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar
> >>>rahe ho?"
> >>>   To this the man replies,
> >>>   "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai,"Wash
> >>>Basin".
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to
> >>>Toronto, the
> >>>   captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our
> >>>engines has
> >>>   failed..  There  is  nothing to worry about.
> >>>   Our flight will take an hour longer than
> >>>   scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
> >>>Thirty minutes
> >>>   later  the  captain announced, "One more engine has
> >>>failed and the
> >>>   flight will take an additional two hours. But don't
> >>>worry.
> >>>   we can fly just fine on two  engines."  An hour
> >>>later the captain
> >>>   announced, "One more engine has  failed and our
> >>>arrival will be delayed
> >>>   another three hours.  But don't worry ..
> >>>   we still have one engine left."  A sardarji
> >>>passenger turned to the
> >>>   man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one
> >>>more engine, we'll
> >>>   be up  here  all day!"
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Three men were applying for the same job as a
> >>>detective.  One was a
> >>>   Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian.  The
> >>>chief decided
> >>>   to ask each applicant just one question and base his
> >>>decision upon that
> >>>   answer.
> >>>
> >>>   When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the
> >>>chief asked him,
> >>>   "Who  killed Jesus Christ?"  The Jewish man answered
> >>>without hesitation
> >>>   "The  Romans killed him."  The chief thanked him and
> >>>he left.  When the
> >>>   Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief
> >>>asked the same question.
> >>>   He  replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews."  Again,
> >>>the chief thanked
> >>>   the man who then left.
> >>>   Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview,  he
> >>>   was asked the same question.  He thought for a long
> >>>time, before
> >>>   saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?"
> >>>   The chief said, "OK, but get back to me
> >>>   tomorrow."
> >>>   When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How
> >>>was
> >>>   the  interview ?".  Pat came the reply,
> >>>   "Great, I got the job, and I'm  already
> >>>investigating a murder.
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Talking about those days when there were no mosquito
> >>>repellents and
> >>>   we had to spend sleepless nights.  Sardarji  was
> >>>also experiencing the
> >>>   same  every time he tries to sleep,one mosquito
> >>>comes and disturbs his
> >>>   sleep with a  sound "guooonn, guooonn."  He getsvery
> >>>irritated. He tries
> >>>   to cover his  ear but the problem remains
> >>>persistent. Ultimately he gets
> >>>   up and  catches the mosquito in his hand.He is very
> >>>kind and not for the
> >>>   blood shed but  still wanted to take revenge.  Happy
> >>>as he is now starts
> >>>   singing a  lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so
> >>>ja".  After some time
> >>>   he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in
> >>>his hands.  So he goes
> >>>   near it  and  says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Elizabeth Taylor once boarded a plane.  Everybody
> >>>around greeted
> >>>   her.  Since the plane was crowded she had difficulty
> >>>in finding a seat.
> >>>   She  saw  our Sardar Balwinder Singh who was sitting
> >>>next to a vacant
> >>>   seat.She  went  up to him and introduced herself
> >>>saying in her cool sexy voice,
> >>>   "Hi, I am  Elizabeth Taylor...  Liz to you."
> >>>Balwinder was bewildered but
> >>>   immediately  responded, "Hi I am Balwinder ..  Balls
> >>>to you."

>
> >>>   Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic.  One of
> >>>them was
> >>>   crying like  anything.  So the other asked,"Why are
> >>>you crying?"  The
> >>>   first one replied, "I came here for blood test"
> >>>Second one asked,"So?
> >>>   Are you afraid?"  First  one  replied,"No, not that.
> >>>  During the blood test
> >>>   they cut my finger"  Hearing this the second one
> >>>started crying.The first one
> >>>   was astonished and  asked  other, "Why are you
> >>>crying?"  The other
> >>>   replied,"I have come for my  urine  test."
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Our sardarji was filling up an application form for
> >>>a job .  He
> >>>   promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE,
> >>>ADDRESS etc.  Then the
> >>>   column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled
> >>>there. Aftermuch
> >>>   thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK.  On seeing this in
> >>>his appln.  form,he
> >>>   was told that it was  wrong and what they wanted it
> >>>to be
> >>>   filled was either MALE or FEMALE.  Again our sardar
> >>>thought for a
> >>>   long time  before coming up with the answer
> >>>PREFERABLY FEMALES.
> >>>_______________________________________________________
> >>>
> >>>   A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop.
> >>>Finally the bus
> >>>   arrives and he gets in.  The bus is fully loaded
> >>>with sardarjis.
> >>>   One sardarji orders Bihari to tell a joke.  Now, the
> >>>Bihari thinks
> >>>   he's in big  trouble because he knows only sardar
> >>>jokes!After thinking
> >>>   for some time he decides to substitute all
> >>>references to 'sardars' in
> >>>   his joke with 'Biharis'. He starts the jokes with,
> >>>"There was once
> >>>   a Bihari..."  And suddenly he gets a major blow on
> >>>his back from one of the
> >>>   sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be!  Sab  sardar mar
> >>>gaye hai kya?"
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at
> >>>an MNC office in
> >>>   Amritsar.  Reddy from Chennai applied for the same
> >>>job and both
> >>>   applicants having the same qualifications were asked
> >>>to take a test
> >>>   by the  Department  manager.Upon completion of the
> >>>test, the results
> >>>   showed that both men  only missed one of the
> >>>questions.  The manager
> >>>   went to Santa and said, "Thank  you for your
> >>>interest, but we've decided
> >>>   to give the job to  Reddy".
> >>>   Santa: "And why would you be doing that?  We both
> >>>got 9 questions correct.
> >>>   This  being Punjab I should get the job!"  Manager:
> >>>"We have made our
> >>>   decision not on the correct answers, but on the one
> >>>question that you got
> >>>   wrong."
> >>>   Santa:  "And just how would one incorrect answer be
> >>>better than the
> >>>   other?"
> >>>   Manager:  "Simple, for the question that both of you
> >>>got wrong,
> >>>   Reddy  put  down 'I don't know' as the answer.
> >>>   And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"
>
>
>----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer,
> >>>who just laid a
> >>>   road near his house. "Wow!  This is terrific!  Look
> >>>at the job he has
> >>>   done!  The distance from my house to the railway
> >>>station is
> >>>   the same as the railway station to my house!!!!!!!!"
>-----------------------------------------------------
> >>>   A sardarji once took an answering machine home in
> >>>Punjab and
> >>>   disconnected it within a couple of days because he
> >>>was getting
> >>>   complaints from his  relatives like
> >>>   "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ki ghar pe nahin hai"
>----------------------------------------------------