Man and Woman

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can
spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love
him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try
to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single man, but married men are a
lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in
two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she
does.